She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
