Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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