"it" just moved
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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