They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
and eventually we just all took our pants off
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
