The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
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Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
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Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.