I feel like abortions should bother me more
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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