You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
