Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize