Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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