Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am spending my child support on dildos
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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