So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
