Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you will always have a special place in my vag
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
