erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
