Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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