Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
