you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
