is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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