from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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