i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
