So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
