wat bout pragnant strippers??
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
