The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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