hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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