Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
