Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
