Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize