She announced her abortion via fbk
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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