so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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