New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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