it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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