I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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