So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
