Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
