My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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