News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
