Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
