All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
