I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
