Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
