you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize