he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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