I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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