pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
