I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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