I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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