Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.

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  (214): I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/zhmd
  Replies (40) Good night (3583) Bad night (1269)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie

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  (828): you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie http://tfl.nu/vbyw
  Replies (36) Good night (6114) Bad night (1455)
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  (818): View more from California

  That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff

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  (818): That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff http://tfl.nu/4b3c
  Replies (33) Good night (755) Bad night (8401)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"

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  (816): Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you" http://tfl.nu/hln2
  Replies (19) Good night (7034) Bad night (2058)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go

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  (917): Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go http://tfl.nu/7nhi
  Replies (4) Good night (3113) Bad night (1159)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"

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  (262): How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?" http://tfl.nu/pevk
  Replies (33) Good night (3266) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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  (267): The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon. http://tfl.nu/yrqs
  Replies (8) Good night (1110) Bad night (3793)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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  (636): It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference. http://tfl.nu/wkzw
  Replies (14) Good night (4400) Bad night (900)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia

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  (248): i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia http://tfl.nu/d416
  Replies (7) Good night (1457) Bad night (4276)
• Favorite

  (+10): View more from

  I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays

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  (+10): I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays http://tfl.nu/d92q
  Replies (3) Good night (777) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies

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  (503): I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies http://tfl.nu/wv5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1379) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.

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  (863): We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth. http://tfl.nu/zjcp
  Replies (1) Good night (701) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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  (708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89
  Replies (2) Good night (576) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?

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  (541): I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask? http://tfl.nu/caku
  Replies (9) Good night (1207) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.

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  (636): You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone. http://tfl.nu/14uf
  Replies (7) Good night (488) Bad night (312)

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