I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!