WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
