She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hippo gnu deer
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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