Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
