Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
false alarm. still invincible.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
