Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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