i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
