i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
