Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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