I cockslap morals
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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