dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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